O Tina!

Many years ago I was introduced to Tina at a friends place.

Tina lived in the neighbourhood and was always feared for her attitude. The problem was that Tina always misunderstood. 

Whether you asked her a general question or dared to have a polite conversation with her, she always interpreted the opposite than for what it stood. It was difficult to talk to her beyond 2 minutes. 

After many many years I met Tina at a wedding. 

Hi Tina, how are you? 

One may wonder insanely what can be misunderstood in such a simple question. But let me take you through the ride of her Q and A, which brought back all the memories. 

Hi Tina, how are you?

Why? Do I look unwell to you?

Er, no, just generally asking.

You are looking good today. (I tried to be on the safe side.) 

So you mean to say on other days I look terrible ?

Ooops ! let me try another topic!

So, Where’s your husband these days?

He is out of town. Why do you ask about him when I am here?  

Oh ! Ok, er, so have you been up to anything lately ?  

Do you think I am a good for nothing person who has all the time in the world? 

I struggled hard to think of topics in politics that would keep the conversation light and neutral, without involving emotions and mood swings.

But no topic can be neutral with Tina. Every topic is taken personally and the poor person who tries conversing with her is left wordless. 

I started squirming in my chair. I craned my neck to look around for my friends who had conveniently disappeared. I smiled at guests whom I did not know and tried to strike a conversation with them.  

Gosh, cant you sit straight? You are very fidgety, she said.

How about a drink? I asked.

Yes, get one for me too, she said. I am too tired to leave the chair. You have no idea what I have gone through to come to this wedding she said. It took me over an hour in the cab.

Tina, It took all of us the same time as you did to reach here. Did you have to push the cab ?

You are mad (one of her favourite lines), she said.

This was the only correct statement through our entire conversation. 

I was going mad with this conversation.

I think I’ll get my self a drink. I said. 

Get one for me too, She said. 

But first I need to visit the loo and saying that I ran out of her sight, and played hide and seek for the rest of the evening. 

O Tina! If only you’d see things a little more ‘seedha’. 

***********************

There was a lady named Tina

Who always made Eeena from Meena

What ever one did say

She'd take it the wrong way

making it all terribly Ulta of Seedha.

***********************

Ulta=Opposite 

Seedha=straight / as is