Sunday, 25 January 2015

Doggy Tales - Mr. Mac Mackenza

After the demise of Tobler, there was a craving for the company of another fox terrier in the family. But Fox Terriers are not easily available in India and hence the wait continued....just as I had waited for all of Tobler's life... like a typical Parsi mother, waited in vain for the perfect match for her son, but never found one even after his last day. 

In the meanwhile I was observing other breeds.


There was a time when the Doberman was a popular choice of the kothi-walas in Delhi for redoubtable security. The Doberman is a tall, sleek, athletic, intelligent, loyal, guard dog.  A mix of many breeds...Rottweiller, Black and Tan Terrier and German Pinscher.


At the same time, in the apartments in Bombay, the common choice (not necessarily favourite) was the white Pomeranian – a toy dog, small, alert and forever barking at the slightest stimuli.
If some one rang our doorbell, it would irritate the Pomeranian next door who would start his shrill bark from the neighbouring house.  


Few years later the trend in north India shifted to the Alsatian/German Shepherd Dog. 


Big , loyal and intelligent, with a formidable bite, this breed was used in world war to attack, surprise and outmanoeuvre the opponents.    
At the time of world war, the British didn’t want to associate with the Germans in any way, and thus they named this breed 'Alsatian'.
Few persons said they owned a German Shepherd, while others insisted their dog was an Alsatian.
Both looked identical, so I asked some owners about the difference between the two breeds.
Each claimed he had the best.


Mr. Khanna (thoughtfully looking into thin air) : German Shepherd is more pure than Alsatian.
Mr.  Chopra (puffing his cigar intelligently) : Alsatians are more intelligent.
Mr. Balwant Singh : Jarman shepperd da jawab nahi.
Mr. Jaswant Singh : Sadda alseeshun da koi akal nahi.  
                               Par har shyammi usdey nal kabab sahi. 
(my jarman shepperd has no sense, but I enjoy my evening drink and kabab in his presence.)

20 years ago when the internet was not easily available, the breeder was the supreme authority. 
So the dog owners firmly believed, as fooled by the breeder who had sold to them a handsome dog for a handsome price.  


For those who wanted tighter security of their kothis and villas, they paired the big furry German Shepherd with the short, long, stout , barely off the ground - Dashund.  
Playful, stubby and stubborn, the Daschund looks like a long sausage with stubby legs.


 In 2010, I noticed that Delhi-ites had taken a fancy to the tricoloured, long and flappy eared Beagle. Some  how, this breed in Delhi had lost it’s original structure of a cute, slim and playful dog.  The Delhi beagles were square-ish (like Sponge Bob Square pants), heavy and sluggish. All of them seemed to have the punjabi blood group : ghee positive. 
So a beagle was a definite NO for me.  
I will never keep a beagle, I decided.
Never Forever!


“Never say Never” my dad always reminded me.
Probably he too must have learned many a things the ‘never forever’ way.


On 28 Nov 2010, my husband surprised my little daughter with a small tricolored pup for her birthday.
It was a ... BEAGLE.
Kids went gaga over the surprise.
Except me.

What !
A Beagle !
I had told my self "Never a Beagle"!  


"In this house you know I am the supreme authority on animals,  I am the one who care's for all animals and I wasn’t even consulted?" 
I hollered.
He feebly said he had done a lot of internet research regarding beagles.  

The pup was christened Mac as my son was a lover of Apple's Mac. 
Mac was also known as Mr. Mac Mackenza/Maculina/Macus Packus/Mac Maximus 




Four years on, Mr. Mac Mackenza was an amazing experience for all of us.  
If Tobler was comparable to an Englishman, full of poise and grace,
Mac Mackenza was totally Punjabi, he’d burp and fart on your face.

‘Beagles are scent hounds. They have a great sense of smell and tracking instincts’, my husband said.


Mac's morning and evening walks consisted only of sniffing and pissing.
No speed, no exercise. Just a slow walk.  
‘Mac walk’ was more of sniff and less of piss.
Firstly a prolonged halt at a sniff spot in one part of the park, followed by a raised leg and few drops of pizzle, and then move on to another sniff spot just 10 meters away....and the rest of his walk continued in slow motion the same way.
There were some of his favourite sniffing places that drove him crazy. 

In his mind, 
the sniff triggered a rhythm divine
he tap danced with his front paws
in ecstasy and rhapsody
with his snout still stuck to the ground 
sniffing around
his flappy ears hanging long
me trying to pull his leash pleading to move on,
he refusing to budge
till... he was choked by a strong tug
and I noticed his tongue
momentarily hang long from his mouth.


Tobler was never leashed during his walks, yet he always walked by my heels.
As much as I tried to give Mac the same freedom of walk,
when unleashed,
his brain response ceased
it made him deaf and dumb
with indiscipline at it's peak,
the more I yelled for him to return 
the further he ran from my pleas.
Hours later 

I'd be on my knees
angrily pleading 

Mac come back to me. 

But Mr. Mac did none of that  
Indisciplined and dheet !
That’s what he loved to be, when the beagle in him was unleashed. 



Mac was everything that a dog is not. 
Lazy, unemotional, disobedient and greedy.  


There is one act he has taken very seriously.... accompanying every family member through their nap or sleep. He has taken it upon him self to diligently fulfil the duty of snuggling with anyone who is in a horizontal or reclined position, whether sleeping or not.
So, week days he sleeps through the day as there is nothing better to do when we all are away.   
But Sunday is a busy day for him because he has to go through the journey of sleep with every family member through the day.


While one may just be reclining on the easy chair, Mr. Mac would be snuggled beside, deep in sleep, snoring heavily. According to my kids,
Mac is so loud in his snores, he will never have a wife and that's for sure.


The sleeping duty is taken very seriously and his inertia continues even as his master steps into the house after a long day at work.
No wagging, no greeting. Only snoring.

He is the only dog ever known

never to rush to the door
never to welcome his master 
after a hard day at work,
never willing to disturb his sleep 
to greet his master when he returned home.  

After an entire day of over sleeping, in the dead of the night, he secretly crawls into our bed even though he is strictly forbidden, and suddenly becomes stone weight if we try to push him off the bed.   
In the dark of the night
in mid sleep
with eyes shut tight 
as I stretch my hand near my knees
to pull my blanket over me
but instead I grab his snout !
never will he whine or shout
for the fear of being yelled at
“Mac Get Out”.


We tried to read up on some plus points about beagles.
The ones he scored high on were Indiscipline and Hair Shedding.


 But what about his EQ (emotional quotient) since he is so unemotional ?
“After all the indiscipline and inertia on his part how the hell do we know if our dog has any love for us ?”


My son read up on a few dog tips. 
How to tell if your dog loves you....

1.       One way to prove that a dog likes you is when they’re around you a lot.
 So keep an eye if your dog likes to be around you.
“Yes mom, my son said thoughtfully, he is always around us during meal times. It means he likes us”.


2.      Find out if your dog loves to play with you. If your dog doesn’t like to play a lot, yet sleeps a lot, notice if he loves to sleep around you.
“Yes mom, he said, he is ever ready to sleep and snore with any family member, he even becomes stone weight if you ever try to get him off your bed”.


3.       If your dog likes you, he will tend to lick you. Licking is a great way to show their affection.
“Yes mom, he said, he likes us 'coz he licks us way too much, always trying to lick off any bit of food we may be holding in our hands”.

He surely likes us mom, he is lovingly unemotional and unemotionally loving.
It's just that Tobler was English by nature,
Mac Mackenza is Punjabi by nature !









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